Entry 5

8/17/10

Ok...have I mentioned that patience is not one of my virtues???

Man!  And I almost pulled it off this time!  I was so close too!  I said I was going to wait until tomorrow before I started stalking the doctor...

But...I broke down and called the doctor this afternoon.  The anxiety of "not knowing" was growing so I needed to address it before I lost too much focus on my daily responsibilities.  I utilized my acting skills and approached the conversation from the angle of "I met with the doctor last week and he said someone would contact me; maybe it was an oversight but I haven't been contacted yet."  I guess I could have taken the more honest approach of "Look, I know I'm being a pain in your ass but I'm becoming a nervous wreck and am tired of waiting - do you have a surgery date for me yet?"

Assertiveness paid off today!  The secretary on the other end of the phone advised me that my surgery is scheduled for 9/16!  She also informed me of the usual routine - pre-admission testing, call the day before for my arrival time, etc.  I felt bad for the poor woman as I rattled off my list of questions and information that I needed from the doctor; I realize that I can be a lot to deal with when I am on a mission!  But, hey, I have a lot riding on this surgery and I need to make sure that I have all the facts.  This may be unrealistic but I am praying that whatever needs to be done can be done during this one procedure (and not lead to other procedures).  I always have been overly optimistic!

So, now I start grappling with the anxiety of "knowing."  I'm happy with the date and am convinced that this procedure will not affect my ability to attend the HEA conference in October.  Currently, my abundance of hope for a positive outcome is warding off any fear of the pain that is to come!