Entry 12

9/17/10

Well...I've got good news and bad news...

The good news is that everything went well yesterday.  We had to wait longer than expected but that was alright, I guess - doctors don't work 9-5.  The pre-op stuff wasn't so bad.  The nurses and doctors were great!  And, there were only 2 attempts for the IV.  I approached this procedure with peace, determination, and a lot of hope.  I was in and out of the OR in about 1 1/2 hours.  When I came out of the anesthesia, my nurse advised me that everything went well and that I would be going home that night.  I asked her what was done in the OR.  She advised me that cystoscopy, retrograde urethragram, and removal of the mass was performed.  No fistula repair???

No.  What???   My heart sank!  I wanted to cry!  I prepared myself, physically, mentally, and emotionally for a fistula repair (and a new life without one) - only to be disappointed!  I was crushed...  And, I got a fat lip from the anesthesia tube!  lol

I had all kinds of questions but the recovery nurse could not answer all of them; she could only go by what was in my chart.  I was frustrated...but it wasn't her fault.  She informed me that I could call the office tomorrow to ask any questions that she could not answer; I was also advised that I have a follow-up appointment with the doctor on Tuesday and that my catheter would have to stay in until then.

My wife and Dad were at the hospital with me; I am very grateful for their love and support!  I'm sure that the waiting game was very emotionally taxing for each of them.  When they arrived in the recovery room, my wife informed me that the doctor had talked with them and filled them in.  He showed them photos from the tests and of the mass.  Apparently, this mass was impacted hair that was growing in the skin and became infected; this is the result of hair bearing skin being used to create my artificial urethra when I was a child.  The doctor commented that the mass was about the size of a finger and that he was surprised that I had been able to urinate at all.  He also advised them that a fistula repair for me was beyond his expertise, so he did not attempt it; there are hospitals in MA and VA that specialize in adult reconstruction and that might be an option for me.

So, I returned home last night.  And, it's me and my "little friend" (the catheter) until Tuesday.  "Say hhhello to my li'l friend."  I can't seem to get that line out of my head.  lol  Oh...and my fat lip - can't forget that!  Yes, my humor defense mechanism is kicking in to counter my disappointment.  It's a good tool to have.

I am busy finding the silver lining in all of this.  I am not one to stay down for long.  The mass was not a tumor or cancerous - that is a HUGE plus!  And, I am still better off now than I was before the procedure.  Maybe this procedure was just another step along the path toward my fistula repair?  Maybe it isn't?  Disappointed?  Yes!  However, I am reminding myself that there are others out there who have it worse off than me.

So, today, I am busy reconciling my emotions, getting my head on straight, and enjoying some coffee...I missed it yesterday!